Jordan Verge, a skilled and well-liked DJ on Q106.5, has taken the brave step of growing a mustache (or moustache, since we just learned that both spellings are correct) for the first time.
We back Mr. Verge in everything he does and encourage him to try new looks and styles. However, we also think it’s important to talk about how dangerous it is to wear a lip caterpillar in Maine.
Yes, we do want to know why a beard is so dangerous. Let’s cut down on time and get started.
Your Maine Mustache Might Get Mistaken for This Poisonous Caterpillar
Browntail moths are found all over Maine. Their bodies are brown with white streaks, orange dots, and thin, deadly hairs that make them look a lot like mustaches.
The Maine Department of Agriculture, Conservation, and Forestry says that these hairs can give some people rashes that look like poison ivy and make it hard for them to breathe.
Do I think that Jordan Verge’s beard will all of a sudden turn poisonous? Without a doubt. Please don’t act silly.
What I do know is that these rash-causing caterpillars are really scary, and I know a few people, including myself, who would smack the place opposite to Heaven out of Verge thinking it was a Brown tail. And that hit must hurt.
Your Maine Moustache Turns You into a Beast, and That Might Not Be a Good Thing
Who among men doesn’t want to be a beast? Someone who eats steak makes women fall in love with him because he is smart, funny, strong, and yes, he has a beard.
But the calendar shows that it’s time to go hunting. You probably aren’t taught the extra safety steps you need to take during Maine’s shooting season since you’re a new “beast” with a new mouth brow.
You now dress in dark colors and walk around looking like Sasquatch because you think your face lace looks best with brown or black clothes. While you are correct, you are also in a dangerous position when you walk around Maine during hunting season.